Dating is really tough.
That what makes the idea of having a friend with benefits so darn appealing!
Instead of wading through swamps of dudes in the hopes of having some decent conversation and (at best) mediocre $ex, you can enjoy a frisky romp with a person you already know and like, but who you know isn’t compatible with you in terms of building a long term relationship. You feel safe, it’s a reliable situation, and you don’t have to risk wasting money and time on losers.
But it’s important to remember that a friend with benefits relationship still, in fact, is a relationship.
It has its ups and downs, and with most FWB situations, there will come a time when it’s time to shake hands and end the “benefits” part of your friendship.
Here are 7 signs it’s time to break up with your friend with benefits, so it doesn’t end in more drama than it was worth.
1. Your FWB relationship is keeping you from dating
Having a friend with benefits is supposed to be a source of $exual solace when you aren’t in a serious relationship.
If you want a serious relationship, but you know you can never have that with your FWB, it’s time to end that relationship and start dating anew, even if this means going through a bit of a $exual dry spell.
If you find yourself turning down promising dates because what you have with your FWB is just so darned easy, it’s time to get out.
2. Your friends with benefits relationship is always on your mind
Having a friend with benefits is supposed to be casual, easy, and so much fun. Of course there are clear rules that it’s up to both of you to set and follow in order to keep things light and easy. Obviously a FWB relationship is a relationship and deserves to be treated with respect.
But when it becomes a source of constant drama and heartache it’s no longer fulfilling the purpose a friend with benefits relationship. That’s when it’s time to get out.
3. Your FWB relationship has started to make you feel sad
Seeing your FWB should be a happy feeling. You should happy on your way to see them, happy when you’re with them, and happy when you leave.
If your friends with benefits relationship is making you sad or weepy, then get the heck out of dodge! Obviously it is no longer giving you what you need to be happy and there is no damned reason you shouldn’t be happy in ANY relationship you choose to be in. Get outta there!
4. Your friends with benefits relationship partner is manipulating you
Every relationship involves at least one other person, and a friend with benefits relationship is no different.
It is important that you are your partner are on the same page. If one of you feels hurt or neglected, you need to talk about it. More than any other relationship, a FWB relationship relies on honesty and transparency in all things.
If your FWB starts subtly manipulating you, or making you feel guilty about anything you’re doing that doesn’t involve them, it’s time to get out of there.
5. Your FWB relationship is something you’ve started to hide
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
If your relationship gets so awkward that when you’re out with friends you hide from your FWB or lie to them about how you know your FWB, go with your gut.
Your gut is telling you that something isn’t right and that the time has come to cut the cord and move on for you both.
6. Your FWB relationship just isn’t fun anymore
At its core a friend with benefits relationship is about FUN. Sure, you need to be careful of each other’s feelings and be respectful of the other party in the relationship, but at the end of the day what you two do together should be about having a great time.
If it isn’t fun, there’s no reason for it to continue. End it, and you just might find that you enjoy your relationship with this person as friends MINUS the benefits.
7. Your FWB relationship partner has another partner
Of course your friendship with benefits is going to follow whatever rules you two decide that it should follow. But if your friend with benefits has another partner, a serious girlfriend or boyfriend who doesn’t know about you, I’ve got some rough news. You aren’t a friend with benefits, you’re a mistress.
If this sounds way too familiar, it’s time to break up with your FWB.
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